Opinion
The only app on my phone I will never let anyone open
Thomas Mitchell
Culture reporterOn October 5, 2011, Steve Jobs passed away after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. That same day I opened the Notes app on my phone and wrote: “Steve, if you’re haunting this iPhone, thanks for everything.”
Looking back, it’s a very odd thing to jot down; maybe I fancied it as an in-joke with myself, but I can confidently say that it’s not the weirdest thing in my Notes app, not by a long shot.
Notes to self: We are all hiding our deepest, darkest secrets in the iPhone’s most unassuming app.Credit: Marija Ercegovac
That title might go to an observation I made in 2018 while holidaying in Greece, which simply read: “Shin hair getting coarser?”
Or perhaps it’s the list of famous people whose faces annoy me (Ed Sheeran smug, Ryan Gosling eyes too close together, Anne Hathaway why so smiley).
Then, of course, there’s my collection of draft text messages destined for people who have wronged me.
One of my great fears in life is failing to articulate myself properly during an argument, so I use the Notes app as a place to bullet point my thoughts before going to battle. (There are also some draft apologies, but the draft take downs are more exciting.)
That’s not to say everything in my Notes is entirely insane. If I were to hand you my phone, which I would never do, and you were to open the app, which I would never allow, you would also see the cutesy, practical notes.
Take a leisurely browse through Books I Read in 2021, Best Meals of 2022, Favourite Shiraz/Pinot and my ever-expanding list of Classic Movies I Must Watch.
There are also half-finished shopping lists, recipes, story ideas, words I’ve been planning to look up, song lyrics I like, very half-baked business pitches and a series of weight and height measurements that no longer mean anything to me.
All of which is to say, the Notes app is everything you want it to be and anything you need it to be: part therapist, part diary, part logistical planner, and part dumping ground for my private thoughts.
And while the Notes app is an inherently personal platform, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in spilling my soul.
When I asked my friends how they use their Notes app, the response was both overwhelming and encouraging. I was bombarded with screenshots proving they were just as weird as me.
There were draft break-up texts and rambling apologies to family members. One friend uses his notes to document every single question his wife asked him while watching the entire Fast & Furious franchise.
At the same time, another admitted to using her notes to keep track of the different baristas at her local cafe, making notes on their look and feel, so she could remember their names. “Chris has Elvis hair, Grace surly, Charlie glasses.”
And it turns out it isn’t just us battlers lurking in the notes talking to ourselves.
Even the Dalai Lama (are they allowed to use phones?) has embraced the sacredness of notes. When he got in trouble for sucking on that boy’s tongue (a sentence I never thought I’d type), the DL quickly posted an apology on Twitter (he uses Twitter, too?!), which had clearly been typed in his Notes.
The thought of His Holiness opening up the Notes app and pouring out his soul is almost as bizarre as toe-sucking crime, but it also begs the question: what else is he hiding in there?
The Dalai Lama is in fine company, with numerous other celebrities digging into their Notes when the time is right. When Kanye called out Taylor Swift on his track, Famous, Swift rushed to the Notes app and banged out a scathing rebuke. This is probably unsurprising given Swift has enormous Notes energy; her app is undoubtedly a digital burn book full of inspo-quotes, cute observations and a list of famous men who have broken her heart.
Along with Taylor, there have been famous notes to self posted by Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Ja Rule and Kendall Jenner.
It’s worth noting that while the Notes function has been a part of the standard iPhone app set since 2007, it’s only really come into its own these last few years. I suspect this is a rebuke of a social media culture that demands “authenticity” but is drowning in the opposite.
Across TikTok and Instagram, we’re all pretending to be the realest versions of ourselves, but when we know people are watching, we can’t help but airbrush the strange bits.
In a world that requires constant filtering, having a space that welcomes our weirdness without judgment is refreshing. Want to keep a list of every sex dream you’ve ever had? Chuck it in the notes. Not sure how to reply to a passive-aggressive text from your boss? Workshop it in the notes.
And if you, too, are worried that your shin hair is abnormally coarse, well, you can write about it, or if you ask nicely, I’ll show you my notes.
Find more of the author’s work here. Email him at thomas.mitchell@smh.com.au or follow him on Instagram at @thomasalexandermitchell and on Twitter @_thmitchell.
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