“When I heard Elon Musk’s plans to relaunch Twitter as ‘X’ had been thwarted by Apple’s App Store (app names must be more than two characters long), I thought I had a solution for the Twitter boss,” claims Jack Dikian of Mosman. “Put a space before the ‘X’, I said, forgetting completely Musk already has a company called SpaceX.”
Jenny Stephenson of Wollongong can vouch for Lilian Andrew (C8): “Lilian, we could combine our Jetstar vouchers of $2.12 and $10 to buy some popcorn and pretend we’re at the Barbie movie.” Andrew Taubman of Queens Park adds: “The world’s shortest commercial flight is less than two minutes, between the Orkney islands of Westray and Papa Westray. Perhaps $2.12 would at least get you off the ground?”
“I learned Pitman Shorthand (C8) some years ago (1961-1963) at high school,” writes Dianne Ellis of Parramatta. “I use it to this day. I also had the thrill of translating my husband’s uncle’s diaries written in Pitman’s before WWI while he was fencing in outback Queensland. As he was killed in WWI, it meant a lot to the family.”
As a “pimply, underweight junior bank officer” David James of Russell Lea was sent to the Bank of NSW pistol range (C8): “I remember the targets. The armourer was especially pleased because he could always re-use my unblemished ones. The highlight of my visits was the meal in the staff cafeteria; an all-you-could-eat lunch for the equivalent of about $2.”
“I also attended the Bank of NSW pistol range in the early ’70s, but we used to use Donald Duck money boxes as targets,” says Richard Purvis of Croydon.
“Don Bain’s entry on the dreaded stitch (C8) from drinking water at half-time brought to mind the ‘magic’ water which, applied by sponge from an old bucket and with a ‘you’ll be right’, would instantly cure any number of bumps, bruises and contusions suffered during a footy game,” recalls Dominic Rice of Lancaster.
Llewellyn Dickeson of Culburra Beach “can’t tell if Peter Hayes’ baked beans in Vegemite sauce (C8) is a touch of genius, but I can assure him that the Vegemite flavoured ice cream that was forced upon me by friends in Vancouver was an abomination.”
“The thought of baked beans with Vegemite sauce sounds about appealing as Icelandic whale testicle beer,” reckons Peter Miniutti of Ashbury. “Let’s just say both would be an acquired taste.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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