Opinion
I used to eat everything on a cruise. Now, I treat every ship like a health spa
Lee Tulloch
Travel columnistIf I ate an Iced VoVo for every time I’ve heard someone say, “What I hate about cruising is that I always get so fat” I’d be very unhealthy indeed.
While there’s a lot more to do on cruise ships than eat, it often seems like it is the major recreation. Between multiple course restaurants, buffets for breakfast and lunch, coffee nooks, bar snacks, food tours, chef’s kitchens and cocktail parties, passengers could fill every waking moment consuming something highly calorific.
Cruising passengers may eat two or three times what they do at home.Credit: iStock
The dining aspect of cruising is one of its major attractions. It really feels like a holiday when you don’t have to shop and cook and have attentive waiters plying you with delicious things.
But the excess of all these groaning buffets, cake tiers and four-course meals should be enough to give everyone pause.
My unscientific estimate is that most people consume two or three times what they might eat at home. If they lived like this all the time, they’d be in hospital, not in a floating hotel powering towards Dubrovnik.
Has it been two hours since lunch? Then there’s afternoon tea, with trolleys of cakes and scones. Later, each of several bars are serving tapas or snacks alongside your aperitif. More drinks after a four-course dinner, and a chocolate on your pillow. Breakfast kicks it all off again.
If people think that the more they eat and drink (if it’s inclusive), the more value they get from the cruise, then there’s not much value in diabetes, high blood pressure and digestive problems triggered days spent over-eating.
Strangely enough, given that a ship’s activities often fill two pages of its daily chronicle, most cruise over eaters are driven by boredom.
And it’s not helped by the fact that there’s food available 24 hours a day. Even if you wanted to avoid it, there’s temptation everywhere. When you’re in a holiday mindset it’s difficult to be restrained.
Rule number one - you don’t have to eat it.
You don’t have to try everything.Credit: iStock
I’ve just disembarked from a cruise where I resolved not to fall once more into the trap of overeating. I failed in the first few days, for the usual reasons – I wanted to try everything. But somewhere around my third afternoon tea, common sense prevailed.
I found that it’s perfectly possible to treat a cruise ship like a health spa, if you want to, rather than La Grand Bouffe. I won’t pretend it was easy, but there are a few tricks.
Firstly, scope the whole ship early on. There’s often a fresh-squeezed juice bar tucked away somewhere where you can get a hit of vitamins to start your day.
Study the menu for health-conscious choices. Most cruise lines have finally got the message and provide less calorific alternatives, including more plant-based options. Although, there’s not enough of them, I would have to say – menus still seem to cater predominantly to red meat and pasta lovers, whatever the cruise line.
Skip the occasional meal and head to the sauna or the spa.
Is it the best bread you’ve ever had in your life? It’s likely not, so you can give it a miss and remember, you do not need afternoon tea every day.
Similarly, you don’t need – or really want – a croissant or Danish pastry after you’ve had your breakfast porridge or eggs.
It’s easier to exert some control if you eat in the dining room, a la carte, rather than the buffet. If buffet is the only option, choose the small plate. That way, you can limit portion size. It’s better if you help yourself because kitchen staff are trained to ladle out huge amounts of food. It borders on irresponsible.
Only take what you know you can eat. Waste is terrible. Just because the lunch or dinner menus have three courses, you can stick to two – they won’t drum you out of the restaurant in disgrace. Think twice about those sugary cruise ship cocktails and fizzy sparkling wines.
Take advantage of all the healthy, quality food you might not get at home, like prawns, lobsters, fish, good cheeses.
Room service is a good option from time to time. On my latest cruise, they offered a delicious gravlax alongside the usual burgers and fries.
Skip the meal occasionally and go to the sauna and steam room.
Take the stairs if you can. It’s an easy workout, especially when you have no intention of spoiling the holiday with a visit to the shipboard gym.
The idea of a cruise, after all, is to come home feeling better than when you left.
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